He Wanted Everyone At The Wedding To Know His New Wife Wasn’t Pure

When a person marries another, they commit to each other through thick and thin. They enter the union with full awareness and strive to ensure that things begin on the right foot.

Occasionally, however, we hear of individuals who encounter unexpected surprises as they near the altar. These revelations may surface at the eleventh hour and are not always easy to digest.

The woman in the following narrative discovered a vital lesson, nearly at the brink of it being too late. Upon discovering her husband’s aversion to her wearing white during their wedding, she sought opinions on Reddit. Here’s their account:

I’ve been in a relationship with my fiancé for 6 years, and we’ve been engaged for the past 8 months. While I’ve taken the lead in most of the wedding planning, my fiancé (let’s call him Ryan) chimes in with his thoughts now and then.

Around a month ago, Ryan unexpectedly mentioned that he had discussed with some of his colleagues and felt that I shouldn’t opt for a white dress. This caught me off guard. Knowing Ryan’s artistic sensibilities, I presumed it might be about how the photographs would turn out or some aesthetic concern, but I was determined to wear white. Despite his evident annoyance, I stood firm on my decision.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago when I finally selected and purchased my dress, igniting a heated argument. Once again, Ryan approached me visibly perturbed. He insisted on seeing the dress I had chosen, but I declined, wanting it to remain a surprise for our wedding day. He pressed me to divulge the color, and when I revealed it was white, he erupted in frustration.

I fail to comprehend the fuss; wearing white on one’s wedding day is quite common. When I inquired about his expectations regarding my attire, he suggested I wear red, which struck me as rather odd. Puzzled, I questioned why red would be suitable for our wedding, to which he responded that brides only wear white when they are deemed pure.

For context, Ryan and I began dating when I was 21 and he had just turned 20. He was a virgin at the time, whereas I had only been in a long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend. This disparity caused friction in our relationship during the first year, nearly leading to its demise due to his insecurity. However, after that initial hurdle, it seemed resolved until now.

He sought counsel from his mother, assuming she would sway me, but she sided with me instead. Two nights ago, Ryan, his mother, and I found ourselves embroiled in a heated debate in our living room regarding the implications of my sexual history on my choice of dress. His mother even suggested that since he was no longer a virgin, perhaps he should wear red too, which prompted him to burst into tears. Ryan remains adamant that my wearing white would mislead our guests, claiming it’s different for men.

This ordeal has caused me to reassess my commitment to our relationship. I’m repulsed by his behavior, especially considering he isn’t particularly religious. It seems apparent that his fixation on my past sexual experiences, which occurred before our relationship, is the root cause of his distress. Frankly, I’m appalled by his irrationality and needed to vent about this absurdity.

The majority of the comments echo my bewilderment at Ryan’s mindset and agree that his behavior reflects deep-seated insecurity that cannot be overlooked. Many suggest that he seems to be punishing me for my pre-existing sexual history, a notion they find nonsensical. If this is how he perceives virginity, how might he treat any potential daughters in the future? The consensus advises me to reconsider my relationship with Ryan.

I choose not to comment further. However…

UPDATE on r/dating_advice

(November 24, 2022)

What should I wear for my first “first date” in six years?

I’m in my late twenties and have recently called off an engagement. This upcoming date will mark my first venture back into the dating scene after a prolonged absence. We’re planning to dine at a lovely waterfront seafood restaurant in North Carolina. Considering it’s November and by the beach, I’m at a loss regarding appropriate attire.